Day Two Hundred and Thirty - Just Say It

I am so happy tonight. I wrote letters, you see, to people that I love, simply telling them that I love them. Not everyone who reads this will get one, and not everyone who gets one reads this. I'm not finished writing them, though, so yours may still be coming. I only wrote two tonight. And I actually wrote an entire blog already tonight using some of the poetic details of one of them, but in the end, deleted it all and started again. Because that's... just between us. And somehow, and I realize in a very middle-school-esque fashion, when they are just between us they are somehow more sacred. And the things I wrote, even if it is juvenile, are sacred. Even if they are only sacred to me. 

I needed to tell these people that I love them, and how much I love them, and appreciate their presence in my life. The part that was incredibly freeing was realizing that I didn't need a response, I simply needed to tell them. I didn't need them to say "I love you," back, but I did need them to hear it from me. Well, read it from me. 

Sometimes, it's not about how anyone responds to how you feel. Sometimes, its just about being honest and open about it. In both instances tonight, a small part of me knew that I was opening myself up to all sorts of possible hurts. But I didn't care. A) I trust the people I've written to. B) So be it. My feelings cannot be used as a weapon against me when I'm not asking for anything in return. Don't return them, it doesn't matter. It won't change how I feel. 

So if you have something to say to someone, just say it. You'll have a lot more peace when you do. I did. Even though not every letter will be all rainbows and butterflies. I said some hard things today, things that were hard for me to be honest about anyway. And am so incredibly glad I did. Because if I had not said anything and let them leave... I know I would have regretted the words unspoken for a very, very long time. And life is simply too short to have such big regrets that can be remedied with such small words.