Day 458 - Talking Donkeys

I got fired. Not for anything I did, or didn't do. That was made clear. But because my personality just wasn't as 'bubbly' as what they were wanting. I can't argue with that. Despite the fact that pregnancy has made me a much nicer person, in general. Well, at least more 'girly' according to most. And definitely more feminine. If this isn't 'bubbly' enough for them, I'm never going to be. And I'm okay with that.

I was incredibly thankful for my job, and would have never quit. But honestly, I cried in relief when I found out I didn't have to go in Monday morning. Not because I hated my job, or because it was torture, but because I am so tired. Because I have been desperate for more time with my husband, and time to catch up on my pregnancy. It's been a month since I've read any articles about what is happening to my body and my baby. 

And sure, part of me wants to panic because we needed that job and now I'm unemployed, 4 months pregnant, and it's a week before Thanksgiving. But I'm not going to. And here's why. 

I was talking to my mom about it this morning, and she said, "Well it sounds to me like a talking donkey."

"Say what?"

"You would have never quit that job. And they didn't fire you because of job performance, but what sounds like a highly personal issue that had little to do with you. It was for a time, and when the time was over, God intervened because He knew you'd never quit. He's changing your course."

I thought it over for a few moments, and she had a point. This was a talking donkey. Not that I was doing something wrong, but that it was time to make another change. I may be rather limited for my next options, as I'm limited in a 'physical labor' aspect and by 'physical labor' I mean standing more than fifteen minutes at a time. But I'm excited for what comes next. Nothing about what we learned during my extended unemployment has changed. God always provided. It was extraordinarily tight sometimes, but we made it. Being pregnant does not change who God is or how He loves us. 

So Anthem and I are just looking forward, because the next step is right around the corner, and in the mean time I get to enjoy this wonderful holiday season with my new family and sleep in and clean my house and catch up on reading and crochet my little heart out. And frankly: I've never been more excited or happier in my life. 

And because I'm pregnant, that thought makes me a little teary. But I think Paul knew what it felt like, even if he wasn't raging on hormones. The peace that passes understanding. Being excited about being in a tight place because you just know deep down in your heart that it's the right thing and that it's not up to you and all you have to do is trust, let go of what you never had a hold of, and look forward. Because I am.