I always felt bad about cutting them off. I didn't want them to feel abandoned by me, or (as has been known to occur) blame Anthem for my actions and think poorly of him. However, I have recently come to the conclusion that:
a) No one 'needs' me. Don't get me wrong. I love the friends I have in my life and wouldn't trade them, but I have learned that they come and go in seasons, even the ones that stick with you for life. I am not necessary to anyone's walk.
b) While I am tired of people misunderstanding my motives, my actions, my marriage, and especially my husband, how people perceive my actions is outside of my control, and not my responsibility.
c) What is my responsibility is guarding my marriage, honoring my husband, and being a godly wife. Doing what is best for Anthem and I, being above suspicion, and working as one are my responsibilities. I try to always make sure that everyone knows what an amazing man, and husband, Anthem is. But there is nothing I can do for those who are determined to misunderstand and slight him.
d) I don't have to explain what I am doing or why to anyone who is not Anthem or my spiritual leaders. I do not 'owe' anyone that. My responsibility is to Anthem. Anyone that does not value, honor, and protect our marriage has lost any 'right' to anything when it comes to me. Period.
Maybe I just needed to remind myself of all of this. I'm not even sure if this will make sense to anyone else, or that anyone else will even agree with me. And I'm okay with that. Because I know I'm doing whats best for me, and for us. And that's the only thing I am responsible for.
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