Day Six - Shine

*Sorry guys, I wrote this yesterday, apparently I forgot to hit 'publish' so you get two today!

It's day six and I'm already having issues staying in the Rabbit Hole. There is such a fine line between the Rabbit Hole and insanity, and sometimes as Christians we have to cross that line willingly anyway. But how does one know when to cross that line and when to err on the side of sanity? I think, because the brain has a really difficult time with the Rabbit Hole and sanity, (at least mine does now, maybe that changes with ten more years of practice) I think that decision should be left, primarily to the heart.

Although I'm not a morning person, I usually wake up in a fairly good mood. Today, I woke up absolutely gripped in despair. There was no joy in my heart, and I'm not sure why, but I think it has something to do with rejecting the craziness of the Rabbit Hole. I felt the desire to praise all day yesterday, and not randomly praise, but praise because of who God is, and that all His promises will come true. I was to praise His faithfulness specifically. And I didn't. I wanted to praise Him for a great many things, but His faithfulness, or my perception of that, is something He and I are working on at the moment. So I didn't. And when I woke up this morning I felt ill with despair.

And then it occurred to me. I must be retarded. Who cares how crazy it is? Who, in their right mind, says no to spontaneous joy? What was I thinking? Nothing is more sparkly than joy. Nothing breeds sparkles like joy. And I'm sort of beyond caring if it makes any sense. (It does, in case you were curious, because God is awesome, and so whenever He wants to grace me with joy, then I'm in.) Because the most satisfying praise is the kind that comes out of joy. Praise can come out of anything; praise is a command and a delight, if we always waited until we felt like it, praise would be in short stock when we needed it most desperately. But the kind that simply floods your heart... And I choked it away to keep some sense of control over my own life? And of course, the consequences demonstrated exactly why I shouldn't do that. When I flex control, I lose my joy.

So I urge you, the same way I urge myself, to relax that grip, even just a little, and see what happens. I'm going with the insanity, because its so much better than the despair. Even if I don't understand exactly what's going on. I'm human, God is God, and I don't ever remember a time that God said we'd understand it all. I'm too little to understand the grand plan even for my life. But that's okay. My duty is not to understand, my duty is to (I'm stealing this from John Piper so please read his stuff) "...glorify God by enjoying Him forever". To walk each day in the light He provides, and shine that light back to Him, and to my fellow man.

I guess what I want to get across today is don't block the light that He shines, even if it goes against your plans, even if it goes against your reason. If it gives you that innocent, pure joy then shine with it for the love of all that is sparkly.