Name Change - Blog Change

So I had this idea.

Lets be honest. My blog entries are sporadic and accomplish very little other than letting me vent. Which, while cathartic, isn't exactly great blog material. So with all of the radical life changes I've been making lately (new job, no more smoking, no more alcohol) which has led to even more, non planned changes (loss of smoking, drinking friends, and a much quieter, hermit like lifestyle, and a renewed love for video games) I figure its time to change my blog too.

Let me explain. The new blog is 1,000 days in the Rabbit Hole AKA the sparkly marshmallow theory of life. The Rabbit Hole is my metaphor for living a truly satisfying, meaningful, full life of faith.

“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. You know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you.
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. Whoever has My commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.”
(John 14:15-21 ESV)

To me that says that there is a whole life, a life created by the Holy Spirit, directed by the Holy Spirit, and lived by the power of the Holy Spirit that the world cannot understand, because it cannot see, and it cannot know. To me it says that we are to live a life that looks foolish, but that is full of wonder and wisdom. I equate it to the Rabbit Hole of Lewis Carroll. A place of wonderment. A place made of fractals. A place where reality begins to take on different meanings beyond what you can see, taste, and touch. A place no one really believes in, let alone understands, until they endeavor to enter it themselves.

To choose to live in the Rabbit Hole is an endeavor that testifies to a belief that there is more to life that what is on the surface.


Deep calls to deep
at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves
have gone over me.
By day the LORD commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
        (Psalm 42:7-8 ESV)


This verse has always spoken to me as well, and in the Rabbit Hole I found its true meaning. The depth of my soul, the depth of my experiences, the depth of my emotions, calls for the depth of God to give them, to give me, meaning. Not just, "Why am I here?" Meaning. But "I believe that through Your wonder, awesome God, even in the depth of my despair You are beautiful, and can transform me into something beautiful as well. Through You, every single thing has meaning and purpose and beauty, even if I am too small to comprehend it." This verse is a call from the depth of my soul to the depth of God's heart for nothing more and nothing less than ALL of God. It is my hunger, it is my thirst, it is my truest desire. It is why I went into the Rabbit Hole to begin with, even if I couldn't put words to it.

Which leads us neatly into the Sparkly Marshmallow Theory of Life.  Sparkly Marshmallow is a term I use to describe people; it is a category of person, but one that shatters conventional categories. It bridges all others. Christian or not, male or female, straight or gay, black or white or anything in between, young or old, rich or poor, none of that matters. A Sparkly Marshmallow is a person who "sparkles" by continuing to see the wonderment in life, no matter what the world has done to steal their innocence and blind their sight. They fight for beauty. They fight for awe. They fight to stay "Marshmallow" soft, despite what the world has done to harden their hearts. They stay soft, sensitive to both pain and joy, aware that numbness, hardness, robs the feeler of both. Sparkly Marshmallows inspire me, and I hope they inspire you too.

The Sparkly Marshmallow Theory of Life then, is an attempt, not to merge the Rabbit Hole with conventional reality, but to be aware of and on the lookout for where the Rabbit Hole bleeds into conventional reality. For me its crunchy leaves, a freshly baked pie, the feel of puppy ears, a good book, a homemade scarf, a perfect hug, rocking out in the car to songs that have notes that I know I can't hit, the smell of freshly laundered anything, and pretty much ANYTHING that glitters. You now know how I feel about Christmas. Gleeful doesn't even begin to describe.

This new blog is my attempt to chronicle all of these changes in my new life, and to only look back on them at the end of 1,000 days and see how far I've come. It is a commitment to look forward every day. It is a commitment to look for Sparkles and stay a Marshmallow. It a commitment to share this journey honestly with you, the reader, every day. It is a commitment to stay open to whatever comes. It is a commitment to live in the Rabbit Hole.

My hope is that as I go along, I will ever find more sparkles, I will ever get softer, and maybe, just maybe, I will convince some of you to join me.