Anthem came home from one job, ate breakfast, cleaned up (he looked amazing, btw), and went to go begin what is for all practical purposes an apprenticeship under our Worship Pastor. Later this week, he has his other job. He has three, though he only gets paid for two.
I... cook and clean. And write this blog. And apply for jobs. And exercise. And pray. And do laundry. And that's about it. I feel so completely and utterly useless. I know that's not true. I know that Anthem appreciates what I do, even if I feel it isn't much. I know a maid would cost more than I do and isn't nearly as entertaining as I am. I'm a wife, Anthem's wife, and he has no reason to worry. I budget and keep track of our finances. I cook good, mostly healthy, filling meals. I do laundry, and keep our house clean so we can entertain and Anthem can bring home guests with no notice. I pray for him, constantly. And when we hang out, well it's pretty much my favorite. Because he's my best friend and we have way too much fun doing a whole lot of nothing.
I don't want much. I keep praying for some female friends. I'm just not clicking with anyone here, neither my age or older. I keep praying for a job, any job that will not put us in the hole to have. (I said no to one, as the gas money would have cost more than it paid after taxes.) And I'll keep praying. God is good, and this season of getting on my feet won't last forever. It's not like giving up is even an option, though I fight to get through this as best and as quickly as I can, not just get through it. Which is why I went and took the test today, and submitted it with the applications that needed it. And am doing laundry, and writing, and praying. And am planning to crash a '90's an over' women's bible study at church on Wednesday. It says women's. I'm a woman. I want to learn the Bible with other women. And I'm desperate.
So... whatever you're going through, just... keep fighting. Don't give up. We'll get through this.
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