I try not to ask a lot of my friends. I try not to ask for as much for as much as I give. I try to love them where they are, even if they piss me off, and even if I don't agree with their life decisions. And I always want them to be free. If their life, or their choices, take them out of my life, so be it. We had our time together, I appreciate their presence, and will miss them but totally understand.
However. I do indeed need their respect. I demand that.
I lost a friend today. A loss I did not see coming. So abrupt it's taken me until now to really process it. I've already forgiven him, and wish him well. But as he slammed the door as he walked out of my life, I locked it behind him. Because that action alone made it clear that he did not respect me, or the choices I'm making in life. And that... that is not okay.
I don't require the approval of my friends for my life choices, they are mine. I do not ask that my friends get my approval. Because I respect my friends. As a friend, I will walk with them through their choices, even if they turn out to be bad choices. Imagining my friends will only ever make good choices is a little more than naive. And if someone makes consistently bad choices, respect becomes difficult, as does any depth in the friendship.
I'm saddened by the loss of my friend today. Really, I am. We had a good run, and I learned so much from him. But he chose to leave. I'm not going to chase him. I've made my choices, and I'm completely at peace with them. I'm completely blissful with them.
The thought that something that makes me so happy can be the cause of a friend's departure... well it just blows my mind. But it doesn't change it.
No comments:
Post a Comment