So, as I made public today, I am engaged! Very soon, I will be Mrs. Valerie Delgadillo. And the blog will start to have a segment called 'The Wedding Diaries'. Because goodness knows this roller coaster should be documented.
I've already got some topics in mind. 1) If you don't want a massive headache, live as close to each other as possible. This Iowa/Texas thing sucks. 2) Whoever thinks that engagements are all sunshine and rainbows is nuts. Some of your friends will be jealous, others will be jaded. And then people will surprise you, and people you didn't expect to support you will. 3) My ring is made of thread, and why that is so incredibly special to me.
And then, because we've got about 600 days left, there will be the married adventures. Don't worry, I'm not going to document our fights or how excited I am about having a sex life. But I am going to document life, and how it changes.
I hope you'll stay with me. I know some who do not approve, nor support my engagement. And they're entitled to their opinion. I respect their right to have their own opinion. But if anyone does not, and will not support my marriage, then our time together is done. In all things, I will honor my husband, or as he is now, my soon to be husband. And will not associate with people who will not honor my choices, my husband, or my marriage. And that is not ever going to change.
I understand some may be hesitant to embrace us, James and I did indeed have our rough patches. When we met... we both wanted to be people we weren't. I don't know exactly who I was trying to be but it wasn't me. And we were dumping baggage on each other left and right. I kept thinking he was mad at me because that was what I feared most, and how I had been treated in the past. And he kept me at arm's length, afraid I'd use and change him like the others had. We fought, we both shut off emotionally, and walled ourselves in. And broke up. And couldn't seem to keep from crashing into each other over and over.
And then one day, I felt this conviction. That I needed to say goodbye. That I needed to let go, and be okay with being alone again. I realize now that it was a simple message. "Being in the right relationship for the wrong reasons is still the wrong relationship." Because two weeks later, it was on my heart to reach out to him in my need. And I did. And we've been blissful ever since. God gave us the grace to forgive each other, and to start new. To just be our very real, very flawed selves. And I was able to find that when I am true to myself, and he is true to himself, we are perfectly contented in each other. He's my God fearing, God loving, God worshiping nerd with a passion for really living. He inspires me, protects me, and joins me in the struggles of life.
I always hoped for a love like this, where my husband is actually my best friend. Where we're so incredibly in love and in sync. Where every day is better than the one before. But I never really believed I'd find it. I am so honored to be his soon to be wife.
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