I tend to have a very narrow focus. I like to focus on what's right in front of me. I really struggle to see all the possibilities that are in front of me. And I know why. It's not a mystery. Seeing all the possibilities... is overwhelming.
It's also exhilarating. Today, I broadened my mind. I realized that as much as I do love my job (and I do, they're the best people to work for) that its not worth letting it decide my future. There are other jobs. But there aren't other loves. I've made my decision and Anthem is it. And we have to do what's best for us. And maybe... that's moving me to Texas. Because right now... I don't have time to pursue my dreams. I'm working two jobs to stay afloat and still can't afford my own health insurance. That isn't something worth staying for.
So, I took a few hours, and told my mind to see myself just by myself. Just with Anthem. Not with responsibilities that I load on myself that I don't need to. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying I don't have responsibilities. I do. I'm saying I can't take on responsibilities I don't have to. My mom doesn't need me. She loves me. She wants me. But she can do just fine on her own. And I can and should trust her to do just that. And I'm not responsible for my office. I didn't see this coming, Anthem and I had just started dating when I went to interview, I completely expected to be in Sioux City for years.
Plans change. Life happens. And we've got to do what's best for us. And maybe... Sioux City isn't what's best for us. Maybe Austin is. And once I got my mind over that mental hurdle, the world opened before me. There are thousands of possibilities and not a single thing holding me down. Especially with cell phones and Skype.
My small world just got very, very big. And it feels awesome.
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