Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Day 410 - New New Same Old

My husband is sitting on the floor of our living room, surrounded by papers with chords and lyrics and scribbles and jots, pick in his teeth, guitar in his hands, sounding his way through a sea of songs to arrive at an arrangement for practice tomorrow for Sunday's worship set. I'm on the couch, laptop on my lap, listening and writing. It's quiet in the house except for his voice, singing softly, and the cadence of my fingers on the keys. I could not love life any more than I already do.

I was afraid, to be honest. I was terrified that I wouldn't actually be able to handle all of this change, and that I'd be in for a full on meltdown. I've certainly never tried to handle this much change all at once before. New state (Texas), new city, new relationship status (married), new apartment (absolutely amazing), new job (as soon as I can find one), new friends (as soon as I find those too), new church (which is awesome), and new roommate. He's the best part by far.

Because in this world where I feel as if I know nothing, literally nothing, they don't even have the same brands so I can properly grocery shop here, I have Anthem. And I can trust Anthem, completely. I know that he's looking out for us, so I don't have to worry. I know that because every day he gets up for work at an ungodly hour of the morning, and then comes home to me when he isn't rushing off to his second job. I know because he tells me how much money we made when he gets home from work, even though I didn't do a thing to add a dime to that amount. I know because of the way he looks at me. I know because even though every day with him is a surprise, he is unfailingly good to me.

Which is all I need. Which is all we need, really. Because life is always going to be nothing but newness. Every moment brings a whole new wave of it, and there's no escaping it. But God, even more than Anthem, loves me, and us, and all of us. And He is unfailingly good. All I have to do is know that, and treasure it.

Because no matter how much everything else changes, that will always be true. And as I realize that, I also realized there will be no melt down. I'm married to my best friend, living out my own adventure, and I know, deep down, that I'm home.

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