You know what I continually learn? That I don't know nearly as much as I like to think I do. I've been slowly learning that for years. When I was a kid I thought I knew everything. When I was a teenager I really thought I knew everything. Now... what I think I know gets smaller every day.
My constantly shrinking knowledge used to scare me. Knowing so little made everything else seem really big. So incredibly unknown. And that was terrifying. So I tried to make my world as small as possible. I tried to make everything as small as I felt. Even my dreams. I made them smaller so they'd fit into what I knew I could do, into what I saw as 'possible'.
But recently... I've had just about enough of small. And scared. My dreams are so much bigger than I've been allowing them to be. Because I was afraid that I was too small to accomplish big dreams. Because I was afraid of failing. But I haven't been failing. I've been growing. I've been learning. I've figured out a lot of ways to not do things. But I haven't failed.
Well... except for not trying. That is failing, and I've done that so many times. Because I was afraid of failure. I know, looking at it now, it doesn't make any sense. No more. Failure doesn't scare me any more. Never even trying to get what I want does. Letting fear overtake me is the only thing that scares me now.
No more. I'll fail. I'll be rejected. I'll get burned. But I will not look back and wonder "What if I'd tried? What if I'd reached? What if I'd gone out on a limb? What if I'd taken a chance?".
Instead I'll look back and say, "At least I gave it my all. There was nothing more I could have done." Because only when I give it all I have will I be at peace with my life. Not knowing anything isn't going to stop me from trying anymore.
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