Bear with me in the fact that tonight, I really don't know what I'm going to write. I don't really want to be writing, but I feel led to anyway. There is still so much spiritual activity going on inside it's overwhelming.
So I will write what I know tonight. I know that I am called to be a witness. For anyone who has known me, the last few months aside, the past two years have been rough. I realize that I about strangled a relative through the internet today for using the term 'rough beyond words' to describe the past few months of her life, and while I do not wish to court the anger of those whose years have been worse than mine, please take it in faith that they were indeed rough.
But there is a time for everything. That is just a fact. And through the past two years of darkness and uncertainty and struggle and anger, God has made me into something entirely new and different. He has refined me as through a fire. And I can sparkle all the more because of it. His work is by no means finished, but a cycle of it is. For now are the days when favor and providence flow. So I am to be a witness, not only of His goodness as the deluge of gifts begin, but of His faithfulness in that when He says something, it is as good as Done.
Lord, Lord, my heart has cried, when will You bring light? You have promised me a dawn, but I cannot see.
Hush, hush, little one, He answered, I have polished you in this darkness so that when the light came you would sparkle all the brighter, for I long for all of My children to reflect Me. Now dawn approaches, even on the wings of the morning. And you, My beloved, will shine. I call you to be My witness.
And oh, even as I write this, how my heart is breaking in thankful praise. For this is the season of favor and providence. I praised Him through the darkness, and I praise Him as dawn begins to break. He will provide more than I ever asked, or imagined. Money? I will soon have more of it than I know what to do with, and when that happens, I will be His witness. I have no idea how, but that's not my job. It's His. Love? I have the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and on top of that He continues to reveal spiritual sisters and brothers to me in the most unexpected of people, so that I never feel alone in this Rabbit Hole. I'm also going to throw out there, to be time stamped by the interwebs, that I do believe that this is my year for romantic love as well. And when God provides that, I will be His witness as well. IN ALL THINGS, I will be His witness. In the good, in the overflow, in the warmth of the dawn, in the midday sunshine, I will be His witness. I stand as His witness now, looking back at what He has brought me through, of His goodness in that. It was tough love. It broke His heart to break me, but it was what was best for me, and out of His great love, He put me through it.
Now and forever, I will witness. I praised in the storm, I believed in the dawn, and as it breaks I will declare the faithfulness of my God. It is my joy to have my friends stand beside me and be witnesses with me, and it is my joy to witness to those who see only darkness and despair. Let the light of the dawn not be wasted on me, but let me be a mirror to it that I too may shine and reveal Him to all who see me.
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