Day Thirty Nine - Clarity

Clarity can come at the strangest times. It can come during a nap. It can come during a loss while playing Halo online. It can come during a win while playing Halo online. It can come in the middle of the night. It can come first thing in the morning. It can come as your lips touch another's sweetly. It can come while filling out spread sheets. It can come walking out of a movie. Clarity comes at all times, it does not discriminate. Tonight, I received clarity. In spades.

Love is a tricky thing to get clear. And I don't make it any easier. I'm like the ancient Greeks on steroids, I have about a bajillion different types of love. Brotherly love (for both inside the blood family and outside, looking at you Honky), protective love, loyalty love, friendship love, amorous love, sparkly love, complete love (nieces and nephews mostly for this one), and those are just the ones off the top of my head. But sometimes the wires cross, and I have a hard time telling them apart. That's when I get into trouble.

But lately, a love stronger than all of these has been stewing deep within my heart, and came raging to the surface today. It has many a controversial thought, and many a controversial reasoning. To be put simply it is this: I love Christ most of all and He is my passion and joy. This, of all things, we must both hold true. This is what must unite us, for this is the only bond that does not let go. THAT is my truth. And THAT is my ever stronger conviction. Today, it blazed from my chest, cementing itself into unshakable certainty.

That was my clarity. My bright shining moment of truth. And I took it. And I hold to it like a man drowning holds a lifeline. It will guide me in the coming months of change. It will hold me where I need to be and push me to where I may be hesitant to go. And I thank God for it, for it will save me from many places I do not wish to go. And take me to many places I'd have never been without it.

And so my prayer tonight is this: clarity, stay with me. Do not slip away as you have been known to do. Stay strong and stay bright. Do not leave me in the coming night and be hazy in the morning. Burn in my chest, and do not let me rest until I have found another that holds you as dear as I do.