Today, my heart was simply overwhelmed with the goodness, mercy, graciousness, and incredible artistry of God. The day started with a much appreciated answer to prayer, coming from a third party friend of mine. It both warmed and quickened my heart, as a desire so long in the making came into a whole new, sharp focus. That, in itself, would have been enough to satisfy my heart for the day, and for it to sing praises to my God. But God had more. Oh, so much more.
Tonight, God gave me the gift of a kindred spirit, a woman who understands my crazy and I understand hers. A woman with a heart as deep and as passionate as my own, with a sense of purpose, a crazy strong head on her shoulders, and a truly beautiful view of life. Truth be told, she inspires me more than just a little bit. And I am blessed to call her friend, and know with a warm sense of anticipation that this friendship will continue to grow into something ever more lovely.
Tonight, God showed me more of the intricate tapestry He's weaving with our lives. I have never realized so precisely the threads weave around each other as He uses us in the lives of those all around us. I had a question in my heart, and she in hers, and in the exact same circumstance, He answered both. In which case, though difficult to describe, my no and her yes fit perfectly together into the start of something wonderful.
I admit, I am overwhelmed by His gifts. So overwhelmed that the deepest prayer of my heart tonight is that He be gracious on me yet again, and not let my heart wander from Him. I do not want His gifts to be a distraction, but to be a constant mirror to the Giver of them all. He has given me a wonderful job with a wonderful boss and wonderful coworkers. He has given me a brother, whom I cherish deeply. He has given me a new friend, which I do not doubt will become a dear sister in time. He has given me the deepest desire of my heart. All of these things point solely to God as the gracious giver, and yet I am human. I know my own weakness, to be content with the gifts, rather than to seek the Giver.
I think that is perhaps my challenge for now. I survived the drought, and I survived the rain, and He led me to Himself in ever glorious ways. From my ashes He created beauty. From my sorrows, joy. From brokenness, forgiveness and love. From folly, wisdom. From poverty, riches. Now, as a new day breaks, will I hold to Him as tightly as I did in the storm? Will I cry to Him as loudly and as passionately as I did in the dark, now that there is light? Will I still seek Him diligently, now that He is so easy to find? I pray that I do. For though my heart rejoices in the gifts that He continues to shower upon me, the still small knowledge that has always been true whispers that only He can satisfy me, and that I must not forget that.
So, as backward as it seems, my prayer is to ask for more. I have and will continue to thank Him for His gifts, for they are wonderful and more than I could have dreamed of. But I want more. More of Himself. And I will never be satisfied, for He is so much more than me. In Him, and in Him alone is there pleasures and joy forever more. Let me never be satisfied. Let me always search, let me always yearn, let me always hunger for more of Him. And let me always see past the gift to the Giver. Let not my eyes become full of what He has given, but let them fill with who He is. So Lord God Almighty, in the face of all of this incredibly bounty, let me boldly ask for more. I am not satisfied. I want more of You.
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