When I was in college, and even highschool, I thought I knew what adulthood was. There are no words, none, to express how wrong I was. Adulthood is more than responsibility and struggle and strange triumph at minor successes. Adulthood - so far - is a collage of the most random life lessons that had never even occurred to me. I'm going to tell you about some of them, because I find them highly entertaining and I hope you do too.
Obvious Adulthood Lesson #1 - Do Not Live Above Your Means
Not So Obvious Ways It Manifests Itself
Boneless, skinless chicken breast is now sitting around $3 per lb. A whole chicken is $0.79 per pound. For obvious reasons, I learned how to de-bone a chicken, which is all around a great idea. You then have dark meat, which has more flavor, to add to things like soups and stews, and white meat to use with anything from enchiladas to a honey chicken salad. But it's not just cut up and serve. Oh no. Oh... so much no. De-bone-ing a chicken... is the process of picking over a carcass, fingers slick with grease from pulling meat from bone and thinking to yourself, "Could I eat that?" There's a point, as you're cutting through the rib cage with bone cutters, hearing the ribs snap as you pry the chicken apart that you realize... this is adulthood. And then you thank God that adulthood has changed in the last 100 years and you didn't have to go outside, cut its head off, dip it in boiling water, de-feather it, dip it in boiling water again, de-feather it again, and then rip out its internal organs.
Obvious Adulthood Lesson #2 - Take Care Of Your Things Because You Can't Afford New Ones
Not So Obvious Ways It Manifests Itself
Did you know you have to clean your washing machine? I kid you not. Supposedly, you're supposed to do it every three months. Yea, I do not remember that from my childhood. Not once did my parents clean the washing machine in the 10+ years I can decently remember that sort of thing. Yup. A cycle with bleach, a cycle with vinegar, and a rinse cycle. Not to mention the scrubbing that you're supposed to do.
Adulthood is a lot weirder than I ever gave it credit for when I was a kid.
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