Nope. This has nothing to do with zombies so if you thought this was about zombies... feel free to stop now.
For those of you still with me, hi. A few days ago, I was missing my dad. He died about three years ago now, and I often miss him. But there was very little grief in this missing. In fact, it didn't feel like he was dead at all, only as if it had been a very long time since we'd talked.
And then it hit me - that is exactly what it is. It's not like I don't get to see him again, I do. Just not for a long time. It's very much as if he's not dead, just taking an extended vacation where there is no cell or postal service. A very deserved extended vacation.
So instead of grief, I find my emotions more and more pointed toward expectation. There's so much I want to tell him already, I can't imagine how much there will be if I live a life as long or longer than his. But I also know, no matter how much I have to tell him, when I finally have the chance, nothing would make him happier than to listen to all of it.
And then I imagine he has a few things to tell me too.
Thank You, God, for giving me the immeasurable gift of an eternity with my dad. Because when death is no longer permanent, but an infinitesimally small gap in our relationship, it sort of loses its sting. If you know what I mean.
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