Today, one of my bosses told me that he was really happy I was in the office. I asked him why, as it seemed a rather random compliment. He told me that it was because I handled everything so well. Not necessarily knowledgeably, there is still a whole lot I don't know and have to ask questions almost all the time. But apparently, I'm a whole lot calmer than my predecessor. And that's true. I trained with her for a month, I can see that. But... well. I think there are two reasons for this.
The first is very simple. Part of my job is to make the office run as smoothly as possible, and a peaceful office works much more smoothly than a tense one. So long as I keep my cool, and a genuine smile on my face, then it is easier for everyone else to follow my lead and remember that everything is okay.
The second part is a lot more complicated. I tend to get really pent up. I'm not good at letting things slide of my back. I tend to just absorb them. Part of the problem is that I often thing that is how I should react, how I ought to be. And that's not true. There is nothing wrong with reacting, responding to events. I'm going to get sad, angry, elated, bored, frustrated, overwhelmed, etc. I am a human. We have emotions.
All I need to do is make sure I don't overreact. I don't need to lose it when I get overwhelmed or scream when I get angry. And I don't. But it's okay to sigh deeply, to feel overwhelmed, to admit to myself that I need a hot tea and some good literature. It's okay to be frustrated. It's okay to be happy at the little things. The point isn't that Jesus died for me, lives for me, loves me, and thusly nothing else matters. Those things just help me put life in perspective. Jesus doesn't do all of those things so I can stop living, He did it so I can keep living. A better life.
Yea.
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