I love my jobs. I love my living situation, and the fact that it'll be changing in the next few months. I love my friends. I love my schedule. I love, love, love my schedule. And I haven't had my schedule for over two weeks. I'm slowly losing my mind. First, there was the holidays. Then I got sick. Now I'm struggling to find my rhythm at my new job. I've accepted, and the guys I work for (those awesome fellas) have accepted, that it'll be a few months before we get truly in sync. And I hate that. I hate not having my rhythm. I hate still getting over the flu because it's still affecting my work. I miss my second job. I miss my rhythm. I'm going to bed at 8pm. Which is better than last week. Last week it was 6pm. But it's just messing with me.
I need a rhythm. I can break it occasionally and stay up too late or do something I normally wouldn't but to not have one at all is just killing me.
And it's the new year, it's time for new schedules. I restarted my Bible reading plan because I finished the one for last year. I'm doing multiple ones this year because I don't want to lose my love of it and just reading chronologically isn't engaging me enough. I want to start working out too - but because of where I am physically - I just want to start with breathing and stretches. But I don't feel as if I can start anything when my life feels so incredibly chaotic. Yes, I'm aware, I have no idea what my poor theoretical children are going to have do deal with their neurotic mother. That being said. I just feel stuck.
But the only thing to do is push through. Is to find the rhythm. I'm not able to force the one I'd like to have right now. My body just won't do it. I'm not able to have the one I'd like - I have to work to find that one. So I'm just going to try and go with the flow. I hate that. But I'm going to grin and bear it because I guarantee there is something to be learned in being so far out of my comfort zone.
What's the last thing you learned by being out of your comfort zone?
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