Day Seventeen - I Am Not Grumpy, You Are Annoying

I am not grumpy, you are annoying. This is to my friends that know about this blog but don't read it. To my friends that have no idea what the Sparkly Marshmallow Theory of Life is really about and assume that its about rainbows and butterflies and thinking positively. It honestly makes me wonder if you know me at all. This is to my friends that I dearly love but want to kill. My friends that have never really understood how $^#)^#$)(#%$@ frustrating it is when they made terrible leaps in logic and then assume that I'm cranky. I'm not cranky. You're retarded. And today I have had enough of you.

To answer a few questions that seem to be getting brought up alot: I do believe in true love. I do believe in marriage. I do believe love can last a lifetime. I just don't think it's necessarily a physical certainty that it's going to happen between you and that girl you met two months ago that you've already proposed to. Call me, and statistics, a cynic.

I do believe some people get married for the wrong reasons or at the wrong time and will probably get a divorce. In my own humble opinion, that doesn't make me "so damn negative", it makes me a realist. I wish every marriage, especially those happening to people I genuinely care about, was going to last forever. But statistics prove my theory that some of my friends just aren't capable of not making poor decisions. It doesn't make them any less my friends, it doesn't change how much I love them or how good they are. Just don't expect a shocked face from me when it doesn't work out.

It makes me sad when my friends make decisions that in my opinion seem to be hasty and poorly thought out. "OF COURSE I have to propose to her right now! Why, you ask? Um... well because I want to." You sir, must be a genius. Despite the fact that you can't afford a wedding, you met the girl over the internet less than two months ago, and I'm not entirely sure stable is really your strong suit since you were utterly convinced you were in love six months ago and look how that turned out, no, you don't have my blessing. Because I actually love you. And will tell you when you're being an idiot. Please, dear Lord, do the same for me. Do you think I want to hurt you? Saving you from pain is my number one goal, why is that so hard to see? If you're determined, I'll be there every step of the way, but don't expect me to get all blank stare and say, "Gee, didn't see that one coming." when it all falls apart because that wouldn't help either one of us grow or heal. And if, hopefully, I'm wrong and you are blissfully happy in a forever love then I'll be blissfully happy because your happiness is what I wanted all along.

So no. I'm not cranky. You're just acting like you're mentally handicapped and it's frustrating me. All I'm asking for is one moment worth of pondering enough for you to say, "I see where you're coming from, I just happen to disagree." because that I can respect. Saying, "Oh so you believe in reality. So you're saying that happiness isn't a reality?" because you're a sappy idiot is certainly not going to convince me you're thinking clearly. Happiness based on reality is the best kind, you dumbass. It means it has a solid chance at lasting. Happiness based on the delusion that your significant other poops rainbows and farts butterflies is definitely more likely to fail and when you learn that their shit stinks, your happiness is going to sink like yesterday's lunch.

Alright, now you've got me. I am cranky. BECAUSE you're an idiot. And because I love you enough to tell you when I think you're being one. Again: please return the favor. Without my friends that truly loved me enough to tell me when I was being an idiot (you know who you are and I love you) I'd have made a hell of a lot more mistakes than I have. So get it out of your head that I'm being cranky or negative and listen to what I am telling you. I'm not even asking that you agree. Just consider. Please.

Until then, I beg of you, please stfu. You're fueling my next round of arguments with the nonsense coming out of your mouth. It's almost painful. No, it is. It is painful because your grammar is going to shit too. Just stop. Please. For both of us.