Okay, I got sick last night. 7 o'clock rolled around and my stuffy nose went crazy on me, congesting every spare inch of room in my head, and decided to flood out of my nose. It was not pretty. But thank the Good Lord the people at Puffs decided to infuse a few of their precious, soft tissues with the blessed cooling, clearing power of Vicks vapor. So I sat, and using the term coined by my theatre professor (Shout out to you, Samwise) I huffed all the vicks out of the tissue. And then I blew my nose. And started again. Breathing deeply with a stupid grin on my face.
Vicks filled tissue is one of the many things I use to make myself feel better when fighting off illness. Another is people. Certain people, I guess. Certain people I don't want to talk to when I'm sick because I tend to digress into the mental processing of a 4 year old, and it happens to be rather embarrassing. But certain people... Well I know they love me enough that they don't hold it against me. And I find myself reaching out for them, like a security blanket. When my brain decides to work like a 4 year old's, it happens to get anxious fairly easily. I don't have any idea what there is to worry about it, but it does.
Confession: there is one friend in particular that I always imagine with me whenever I feel under the weather. I couldn't tell you why. I've spent so little time around him in my life, I cannot explain why the thought of his presence gives me comfort. I cannot tell you why texting him when I'm scared or sad or sick makes me feel instantly feel better. Safer, somehow. So when I get sick or scared or sad, on top of texting him, when I close my eyes I imagine he's near. Just sitting next to my bed. And when my brain gets anxious for any reason, I reach out and take his hand and hold it until the feeling passes. And then I let it go, because I'm afraid to inconvenience even my pretended version of him. But take it up as soon as I need to again.
I honestly couldn't give a rhyme or reason for my desire to hold his hand like a security blanket, but there is no denying the comfort it gives me. I give my imaginary blanket a gentle squeeze in thanks.
What makes you feel better when you're under the weather? And do you have any idea why I reach for this one friend in particular?
I can't explain it, why he calms me so.
Some people just have that affect. You're lucky to have someone in your life that relaxes you like that!
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