First of all, I hate the dentist. I mean loathe. Sharp metal objects poking around nice soft tissue and bone. These are masochists. And yet we pay them to do their work. Because they make our smiles prettier. I swear, if nice teeth weren't attractive to the opposite sex, they'd go out of business in a matter of days. Anyway, this is important only for two reasons: 1) everyone should know how much I loathe dentists and 2) because I had a weird premonition as I was driving back from my dentist.
I was mildly distracted with my thoughts of hatred and how weird my mouth felt, when a song on my iPod started to play. The beginning reminded me of a different song, and the line "Light light light light up the sky" suddenly became stuck in my head. When I was with an ex, we'll call him "Pierce", the song "Light Up the Sky" by Yellow Card was our song. I deleted the song from my iPod a long time ago. It wasn't a pleasant break. He was angry at me for a long time, and with just cause. I was a different person back then, and going through a lot, but none of it excuses my behavior. I apologized a thousand times, but he stayed angry. And I let it go, knowing that nothing I could do could ever really change how he felt. And I honestly haven't thought about him in probably over a year. And suddenly he was on my mind, and I felt that somehow, I was going to start going backward.
Not in a bad, regressive way. But in a 'clearing out the closet' sort of way, dropping off old baggage left and right. And that this trend was going to continue, and he was the first step. I didn't think much of it, as I had no idea where Pierce was, and no had idea how to get in touch with him again. Or even what I'd say if I did. I got home, parked my car, and didn't think on it further.
I had to leave a few hours later to go to a work part for my mom, and low and behold, Pierce is stepping out of his car. Apparently he and my landlord (who is also a good friend of mine) had reconciled and he was visiting. Damn near stopped me in my tracks. We just kind of looked at each other wide eyed, and I got into my car and drove away. But as I was driving, I felt God telling me to turn around, to invite him to the party. So I did, because really, the worst that could happen is that he could say, "No," followed by a few choice words. Instead, he said yes. We went, spent an hour talking and joking around, and then said goodbye. It was pleasant, and I'm more at peace knowing there is at least one less person in the world that thinks I'm the devil.
This marks the first time in history that one of my weird premonitions has come true in a matter of hours. I praised God for His goodness, and for His work in this. I hope it was good for both of us, because I know it was good for me. As I was thinking on this, I looked up the song that was stubbornly stuck in my head, which happens to be "Light Up the Sky" by The Afters, which if you haven't listened to it before, I highly recommend it. And I felt God once again, stronger than before, telling me, "I am able, I am willing. Ask. Ask of Me. Ask Me to light up the sky." And I did; I prayed for things I've been afraid to ask for for a long time. And will spend the rest of the night in peaceful praise, and earnest supplication. Because He is able, and He is willing.
I cannot help but wonder, swirling around in my overwhelmed brain, what other baggage is going to come out of the closet to greet me, and be able to say their peaceful goodbyes, or welcome hellos. But I know He's in control, and tonight, that's all I need to know.
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