At I'm posting this at around 4am, I feel the need to inform you that as of 4 hours ago, it's my birthday. Today, I turned 24. Today was fantastic. I got a pie cake (mind blowingly awesome), an augmented reality shooter game from my brother, colored coloring pages from my nieces and nephews (JT being the only one who will get framed because he drew me a picture of Link because he knows me too well), cooking utensils from my mother, a 5 hour shift at work, and a short late night at my favorite bar, and my birthday was a smashing success. I should have something deeper tonight, I should have something profound, but everything that is going on is far too internal to be explained. There is grief (I miss my dad and am so sad he is not here to celebrate my birthday), joy (I LOVE my immediate family), peace (I am right where I am supposed to be), difficulty (goodbye failure cigarettes forever), struggle (hello to the guitar playing (HOLY CRAP CALLOUSES HURT) and running (I didn't even know I had those muscles and they ache like a mofo)) and everything else. It's going to be an amazing summer, and a weird one.
There is no deep lesson, there is only me, laid bare. There is only the very next moment. There is only what is to come. I have 45 days left to finish my 'next hundred days' list. And now is not the time to give up, but a time to press forward. A time to run forward, as fast as I can. A time to prove to myself everything I've always said.
...It's going to be a long summer. And one I cannot find the words to express my excitement for.
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