Day Two Hundred and Fifty Three - When Life Seems Bigger Than

My life was work, home, and friends. I had them all on a schedule and I kept it for the most part. There were deviations here and there, but they comprised my life. And then, the change that I've been begging for started to come, wave after wave, coming from every side. And now its too much, I cannot juggle the old coming in with the new. It is too much. But there are things that should not be dropped, yet things that must be picked up. The change must come, change defines life. When change ceases, life is gone. 

And now, everything seems bigger than it was. I need time to digest, time to process each change. And instead, I get up at an unreasonable hour and go to work and marvel that there alone everything feels exactly the same. It's like no one has noticed the giant shifts beneath my feet. And why should they? It's just work. And instead of taking up a large portion of my life, it now seems small. It's so hard to concentrate there. 

Then again, it's so hard to concentrate everywhere. Then again, when I'm not at work, I don't try very hard. Life is so full. I helped brew beer this weekend. That's all I did. And that's all I wanted to be doing. Very little else found its way to my brain past the reubens, BLTs, grilled chicken, beer brewing, book reading, and music listening. Especially as it felt like fall all weekend. I even got a thunderstorm. 

And now I come home, and get ready to go back to work. I don't have a lesson. I just know that suddenly life seems bigger than it did.