A little over a year ago my mom went on a trip to see our extended family. Her sisters and their kids and stuff. She was gone for a week. The thought of sleeping alone, of being alone in a house at night, scared me so much that I bribed a guy friend of mine with food, lots and lots of food, simply to come sleep here every night for a week.
A lot has changed in a year. My mom is gone for a week. (Weirdos, please don't read this blog and come find me.) And... no offense to my mom... but I'm loving living by myself.
See... you remember that blog about me finally understanding that itch for independence that most people get around age 17 that I was only just getting? Yea. Since that bug bit, the itch has been growing exponentially each day. And... God gave me a little nudge. Well, that's how I see it anyway. He gave me a bit of a spoiler. I imagine it went something like this:
"So you think you're ready to live alone, but are still not sure? Why don't you take it on a test drive for a week, see what it feels like?" And then He got very smug because... yes. Yes, I want it very much, please, and thank you.
I feel like I've aged years in the last few weeks. I'm so ready. And so completely scared shitless. I've never lived alone. Not ever. Not even for a moment. I've never lived further than 45 minutes from home. And I'm staring at all of the changes I'm chasing and admittedly wondering 'what on earth am I thinking!?' but am running full force at that cliff all the same.
Because it's time to jump. It's time to leave the nest and fly free. I'm ready. Terrified. And ready.
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