"Nothing like what I expected. Everything I need. Better than I ever dreamed."
Let me tell you what I never expected: a boy who wears skinny jeans and v necks. Who cares more about music than books. Who is sexier than any man has any right to be. Who doesn't care that I like football but tells me, "I hope your team does whatever it needs to do to get enough points to beat the other team." Who is more interested in the fact that I have a good palate and care about food than the fact that I can make it for him. Because he just wants me to enjoy food with him, regardless of who cooks it. Who talks to God with his guitar. Who is far more stylish than I could ever hope to be. Who has more sisters than brothers and a family just as complicated as mine. Who is a city boy from the west coast.
And yet he's everything I need: He prays for me. He reads the Bible with me. His playfulness brings out the playfulness in me. He understands my heart. He's kind. He makes me smile, constantly. He ALWAYS wants to talk to me. He has made it very clear that I am never a bother, that I am always wanted. He ALWAYS reads the stuff I send to him, because, "If it's important enough for you to mention it to me, it is important enough for me to read it as soon as I can." He makes me laugh even when I'm so stressed I want to cry. He tells me I look beautiful when I wake up in the morning and when I have a nice layer of olive oil on my face at night. He understands that sometimes lighthearted fighting is fun and necessary for our personality types. He thinks I'm adorable when I shovel food into my mouth. He calls me at 4:30am when he knows I have to get up for my flight just to tell me that he believes in me and is proud of me no matter what happens. He pushes me and stretches me. But the best part... the best part is that he makes me feel free. When I'm with him, I'm more free to be me than I ever have been before because he's there to encourage every stupid facial expression and every careless laugh and every puzzled question and there to hold my heart when I'm stressed and when I can't think straight and when I want to cry. He doesn't even try to stop the tears.
And he's so much more than I ever dreamed: Did I mention the sexier than any man has any right to be? Or that he can sing so sweetly? Or that I can hear his heart singing to God when he plays his guitar? Or that he wants to (and does daily) spoil me with attention and affection? He does. He chases me more than any man ever has. He values everything about me, from my heart to my mind to my taste to my toes to my nose to my smile. I've never, ever had someone who wants to talk to me as much as he does. Who respects my relationship with God so much and wants to learn about it to grow with me. He gives me a hope for the future I've been afraid died three years ago. And if God does such a thing as putting icing on the cake it was definitely the glasses, lip rings, and tattoos.
My conclusion is simply this: Jesus, thank you. Thank you for showing me that my expectations were silly, that what is really important has nothing to do with sports teams or where you grew up or what style of jean you wear, but has everything to do with your heart. And his heart takes my breath away and makes me feel safer than I ever have. Thank you for sending him to stretch me, to grow me, and to not have to do it alone anymore. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Amen.
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