I had a friend once whose nickname, with certain people, was Superman. Because he was always trying to save people. It was obnoxious. It was annoying. None of his friends liked that side of him. Some people did, though. Girls, mostly. There were a lot of girls who wanted to be saved by him. The rest of us just wanted him to be himself. Flawed. Lovable. Reliant on God. It was when he knew he couldn't save the world that he was the man I loved.
And I was always so mad at him for loving the Superman side of him rather than trying to put it to death, and put it away, and be himself. Until I realized that I was constantly trying to be Superwoman.
Granted, our motivations are very different. Well. I'm not sure. I can't say for sure what his motivations were. But I know what mine were. I want to be important in people's lives. I want them to need me. Because if they need me, they won't leave me.
But the thing is... I can't do a damned thing for anyone. Not really. Not at the 'need' level. I can't save anyone. I can't live out the perfect gospel. Not everyone will think well of me. And being needed is draining. So... no. Superwoman died tonight. I'm done being needed. Keep me around because you want me, or don't keep me at all. You don't need me, and I no longer need you to. For those I love, I hope you love me too. For those I enjoy, I'm now okay simply enjoying you. You get to see my flaws too. I have a lot of them. I even like some of them. For those I simply didn't want to think poorly of me, think what you want.
And cheers to knowing that I don't need every guy to like me for the right one to like me. And the best part? The right one won't need me. He'll just want me an awful lot.
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