So I applied for this job in Madison, WI. Because why the hell not? And then I started day dreaming. About what I'd do. If I moved that far away. It involved a haircut and a new tattoo. And if that's what I do with a new start - I think it ought to be done here.
I would probably go insane if it wasn't for Tex. He is the ONLY guy friend I have that says 'I love you' first. I don't have to say it for him to. Sometimes he just will. God bless him. He keeps my heart from slowly dying. That man is home, even if no one understands how or why.
For the first time in my life I feel like I'm finding my own voice. Turns out I don't like pop music as much as I thought I did. I like random unsigned artists I've discovered through Spotify. And I don't care if anyone else likes them. I do. They're on repeat on my phone while I drive. And I jam out to those catchy freaking tunes that get stuck in my head at work. Life is too short not to sing badly and dance wildly to a tune only you can hear.
Being a fan of a football team that is struggling is more emotionally exhausting than a few of my relationships have been. Yes, I am that invested in my team. I now feel like a terrible human being for not understanding why why the Magic losing always made him so sensitive. I get it now. My bad.
I've got a list a mile and half long of things I'd like my future man to be like. But it really comes down to just one and only one thing: he needs to feel like home.
Lyrics inspire me in ways quotes never can and I'm okay with that. I swear the lyric "I'm so glad we're doing this right," changed my life in a matter of moments because it went past my brain, straight to my heart. I've read so many books and listened to so many speakers and none of it has ever settled into my heart like that. I suddenly got it.
It does not matter how ugly something I make is. Suddenly, it's the best thing I own and needs to be displayed. Especially if it's a scarf. Or a hat. Look at what I made with a funky shaped needle thing and some YARN. Holy crap, I am awesome.
Gotta go to work now. I've got a feeling it's going to be a long, head-bobbing and funky dance moves in front of the elevators night. And maybe, just maybe, there will be bacon at the end of it. That would be fantastic.
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