I hate it when the OSM is right. It annoys the ever living crap out of me. Because it makes me wonder if, being older than me, if he will always know something that I don't. I digress. He was right.
I crashed into Anthem. He sent me spinning. And to be totally honest, pissed me off more than a few times. That is, until I realized he was stretching me. From almost the moment we met, he has been taking me out of my comfort zone. Not in the sense of trying to make me uncomfortable, but to open me up. To get me to step out of what I have always known, because it's so much roomier out of my shell, out of my box, out of the small corner of the world in which I like to hide. He was nothing like I ever expected. He took all of the assumptions I had and threw them out the window. He took the idea I had in my head and shattered it. And I love that. It feels so good to be stretched, to be pulled, and then to be hugged and kissed on the nose, because I can see the pride in his eyes because he knows it wasn't easy for me. It's like he just walked into my life and flipped it upside down. In the best possible way.
And the OSM is right because I did have this idea of a fairy tale in my head, and that was so incredibly messed up. I dreamed of perfection, which is possibly the dumbest thing I've ever done. Because I don't want perfect, and perfect certainly doesn't want me. But a real person, with problems and pain and struggles and praise and triumph with a real heart that has been broken and put back together, who really cares about me... that is what I need. Not a dream in my head. But something real.
And I think... I think that's my favorite thing about crashing into Anthem. Because he was brave enough to be real with me, he was able to wake me from my dream and I'm so glad he did because... when he's in my world, the messy realness is so much better than the perfect dream.
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