That's what I keep trying to tell myself. "Don't get your hopes up. Don't get your hopes up. Don't get your hopes - dammit." Because they're up. I want this more than I've wanted anything in a very long time. An absolutely amazing job (based on the research I've done for it), in what seems like an amazing town, with a fresh start. And one of two things are going to happen. I'm either going to be elated and moving to Madison, or I'm going to be crushed and still looking.
It's not the end all and be all, it's not like I'll never be happy again if I don't get this job. It's a job. But I do want it. It would change my life. And I don't know how to pull those hopes back down again. I literally squealed when I got the e-mail from them requesting a phone interview. I spent hours researching the company, the job, and Madison. And let me tell you, it's great. It's heaven in a hellish job market. It's an oasis in a sea of despair. So yea, I latched onto it as soon as I saw it. I highly doubt there is anything that is going to make me want it less. Hopes are up.
But having your hopes up doesn't always end in disappointment. Right? I can hope that hopes can be fulfilled. Oh I give up. My hopes are up, and they're going to stay that way. I'm still keeping all of my options open but let's be real... this is the one I want the most. And to think - when I first got their e-mail saying that they loved my resume but wanted me to move to Madison, I deleted it. Luckily, gmail doesn't actually wipe your deleted messages for at least a day. A day later, I knew I had made a mistake and started the application process. And now... now it's all I want.
Hopes and thoughts and dreams are funny things. They can change in a moment and last a lifetime. They can make you fly, but when crushed, can crush you. They need to be respected, but nurtured. It's been a long time since I had this much hope for my future. Maybe... maybe it's about time I got my hopes up. And kept them up, no matter what happens with Madison.
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