I understand, as I never have before, the term 'pounding the pavement'. It does feel, quite literally, as if you're repeatedly smacking your head into concrete. And you have nothing to show for it. Except a massive headache.
I've been all over the place lately. Changing plans on a minute by minute basis. Because nothing is solid. Absolutely nothing. As soon as I can find a job, everything else will line up. But that isn't nearly as easy as it sounds. I'm an awesome employee with a stellar resume (that doesn't lie at all) and even better references. I will nail any interview. And I'm struggling to find anything that will pay the bills.
Everything about today was frustrating. The job interview was frustrating (not sure I want to be an insurance agent - can't I just work at your front desk?). Apartment shopping was frustrating - did you know you have to fill out an application just to be able to be shown a house that is apparently owned by a slum lord? I got nothing accomplished other than knowing where I don't want to live.
I am a GREAT employee, but can't get hired because the jobs I want are already filled by people who aren't half as good as I am and do just enough to not get fired.
I'm a FANTASTIC tenant but have to jump through half a million hoops because so much of the population of this forsaken city are either on section 8 or turn everywhere they live into a crack house. I know. I happen to live next to one.
I'm so frustrated I want to cry (that's what I do when I get frustrated, I cry. Imagine how fun break ups are for me.) but I'm not even close to giving up. I am fighting tooth and nail for this future I dream of and dammit I will not take no for an answer.
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