Day Ninety Eight - Stupid Little Games

My feathers have been thoroughly ruffled by the childish games of a friend of mine. And by the sudden disappearance, and reappearance of another. I've already written a blog about you can leave and I will always take you back. 

Now it's time to write a blog about being a little less of a child in your relationships. Who is it exactly that treated you like that and somehow convinced you that it was the best way to treat others? Did it feel good to be judged according to an arbitrary list of rules? Was it nice having the someone you considered a close friend disappear when you needed them most? Is that what you want out of the people who claim to be your friends, and say they love you? 

Grow up. Voice your needs. If you're frustrated that I've cancelled on you, tell me so. It's okay to get upset, just like I have the right to get sick (and yea, I'm sick a lot and have a crappy immune system, sue me). Just be vocal. I want to know about your life and how it changes, if it changes suddenly or you change suddenly, then for heaven's sake, take the time to tell me, rather than simply disappear. I promise, I'll at the very least listen and try to understand. 

And people come and go, I realize I can't keep you all forever. We change. Our needs change. Our tastes change. Our locations change. And we have friends and we lose friends (sometimes honestly lose them, I have no idea what ever happened to Buddy... last I knew he was in Arizona but I heard rumors of Kansas...) and we hurt and get hurt. That's life. But if it were up to me, I'd keep as many of you as possible, especially my sparkly marshmallows, because no matter how much I change, or how much you change, kindred spirits we will ever be. And if there comes a day when we are no longer friends, either by philosophy or geography, just know that you are missed.

UNTIL that time, however, get your head on straight and stop acting like a 3rd grader with a list of who is your friend and who isn't and why. Accept your friends, and that they will make mistakes, and even hurt you unintentionally. Reacting by disappearing, or listing the broken rule, is not going to fix anything and is only going to serve to put you in the wrong, instead of them. Be an adult, understand that life gets in the way, and work around it. People who really care about each other will make it work, even time is a huge issue. Just ask the originally sparkly marshmallow. Just because I only get to spend quality time with him once every few months in no way lessens our friendship. Or my bestie that lives in St. Louis. I see her maybe twice a year, but we take the time to communicate rather constantly. 

I guess that's all I'm really asking. I want to be your friend, but in order for me to do that, I need you to honestly communicate what you expect, what you want, what you feel, and what you think. No list of rules can fit every friend you have, and saying nothing is no way to be a friend. Just... communicate.