No, I am not splitting hairs. It's important. To me at least, I'm guessing it is to you too. I know there are those who say there can be no platonic friendships between men and women but... well... in my circle, it definitely happens a lot. And it's not because I hang out with a bunch of unattractive guys. Quite the opposite, actually. I hang out with some extraordinarily good looking fellas.
But just because they are attractive guys doesn't mean I am attracted to them. It's sort of like being able to do so with your own gender (if straight). I can tell you which girls are attractive, but I'm not attracted to them. Unless you're talking about Anna Torv. I'd switch teams for her. Just saying.
How do I articulate what I'm thinking? What I'm feeling? It's more than just a thought, it's an entire way of interacting with people. Per usual, we're going to default to the Original Sparkly Marshmallow because he's OSM (pronounced 'awesome'). As everyone on this blog is incredibly aware, I freaking adore the OSM. I hope he has some tiny comprehension of who he is to me... of how much he is to me. I digress. The OSM is a rather attractive dude. He's got the body, he's got the face, and most importantly, he has the attitude. There is no getting around the fact: he's sexy. Be it in a black button down and jeans or basketball shorts and a cut off T Shirt - the man is sexy. And yet... I'm not attracted to him.
*GASP* says the world. How can I simultaneously say someone is sexy and not be attracted to them!? It must be his personality, right? There must be some crazy flaw? Extreme narcissism? Anger management problems? Substance abuse?
No. There's not some crazy flaw. He's the OSM for goodness sake, people, you should have seen this one coming. In fact, his... inside is so much more attractive than his outside that I'm REALLY glad the whole world doesn't see it. He sort of has trouble having women throw themselves at him the way it is. If they saw what I saw... he's be mobbed to death faster than Robert Pattinson in an all girls 8th grade for the slightly mentally impaired.
So what is it? Truth, I'm not sure. I've got a theory though. I love the OSM. Not the idea of the OSM. I love him for who he really is, not for who I want him to be, not for who he could be. And I know what I need in a partner, in a boyfriend, in a husband, and it's not the OSM. And to want to change him wouldn't be loving him as well as he deserves. And he really does deserve to be loved well.
We all do. That's the point. Stop falling in love with pretty faces and wanting them to be who you need or want, and start looking at people for who they are. And loving them for who they are. And letting them love you for who you are. There is a lot less hurt all around this way. And there is a lot more opportunity. If he had written me off from the beginning because we were incompatible for anything more than friends... I feel it's safe to say we'd have both been missing out on one hell of a friendship.
Live life and start friendships with an open hand. You'll be surprised.
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