Florence and the Machine blew me away today. I've always enjoyed the song "Shake It Out", but today, as I was driving, the words really seemed to settle deep inside of me. Especially the lines, "Every demon wants its pound of flesh", "And I am done with my graceless heart, so tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart".
I can forgive anyone anything. But I rarely ever forgive myself. And every demon wants its pound of flesh. But every pound of flesh has already been paid. To pay it again is to demean the original payment, which was more than enough. Christ paid every pound of flesh for me, for every mistake I'm ever going to make. He loves me. The problem was never His love, but mine.
So I am done with my graceless heart, tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart. No more dragging me down through all of the regrets, no more reliving my darkest moments, no more thinking I am somehow the most special person on the planet that I alone cannot be forgiven.
No. My heart has learned better than that by now. I am loved. I am forgiven. And it's about time I started treating myself as if He really did already do the work. No more. It's time to restart. It's time to take the hurting void where my heart used to be, and replace it with the soft and tender flesh, made new.
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