Little known fact: I am allergic to alcohol.
Lesser known fact: Alcohol allergy is an actual thing.
Yesterday, it all got out of my hands faster than I could think. I went to my old work place (a bar) to visit my friends, and before I knew it, I was surrounded by regulars and drinking far more than I knew I could handle. I don't remember exactly, but I think it was around 6 drinks in 5 hours. Which is WAY more than my body can handle. Though I appeared drunk, it was my body reacting to the alcohol. Which as soon as I got home got far, far worse. My mother considered taking me to the hospital the effects were so drastic. My body was shutting down. And it was terrifying. I could feel my body reacting to the alcohol that, to me, is now an incredibly potent poison, and here was nothing I could do now. I just had to wait it out.
I was lucky this time. Very, very lucky. I'm not sure how many times my body can handle that. Alcohol, for me, has gone from a bad idea that will make me feel sick to something that I now approach as I would a gun. I'm not afraid of it, it's useful. But it something to be treated with extreme caution. To me, it has become something dangerous, something my body cannot tolerate, not even the smallest amounts.
But I also know it's a blessing. I have an incredibly addictive personality. And alcoholism runs in my family, fairly strongly. But now it is not anything that I will have to worry about or struggle with. Sure, some days I wish I could share a drink with my friends, but those days are fewer and fewer because it is just so much better if I stay away all together. It's not that I can't say no when there is alcohol around, I'm getting rather good at that. It's learning to say no, always no, to any craving. Because I really don't know how many times my body can take what I did to it last night. And I'm not going to hurt this body any more than I already have, not for something as trivial as alcohol.
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