Today was full of ups and downs. Each moment had it's own sincerity, be it sweet or sour. But it's the sweet ones that stuck with me, that gently carried me through the day. Getting to sleep in, that was beyond nice. Getting to spend the day with my favorite coworker and learn more about her life. Meeting up with old friends. Having a seat specially saved just for me. Staying late because I wanted to be sure they got home safely. Having my high school crush ask for my number. Getting a text message, out of the blue, from a friend just to tell me he loves me.
These are the moments that will stick with me. These are the moments I will hold on to when I'm so tired I can barely function in the morning, when I'm getting a little heat for not giving a friend her keys back at the end of the night, when I'm still sad that my butt lost at least 2 inches and I don't know how to get it back.
Sometimes, the bright side is like that. Just focusing on the good. Sometimes, it's a little less obvious. Mark Driscoll (my favorite pastor in the whole wide world, he's rather well known, look him up) posted as his status today "One difference between an enemy and a friend is this: an enemy stabs you in the back and a friend stabs you in the front." I have never understood this concept better. I thank God for the friends that stab me in the front. Because it's not a stab, not really. It's an incision. The first of many. They make the first cut, and then hand you the scalpel. The surgery needs to be done, the inner workings need work. And you're the only one that can do it.
But let's face it, I'm too much of a chicken to really make the first cut. Your friends, your good friends, will do it for you. They will stand in front of you, to be the honest mirror for you that you can't bring yourself to look into, as you continue the surgery to fix yourself. Sure, it hurts like a mother trucker. But it's worth it.
The method may be harsh, but it's effective. And I'm not one to argue method, or at least I try not to be. I'm not always successful in that. I'm not a fan of pain. I wouldn't be opposed to some anesthesia in the future. But days like today, where the sweet moments were like dabs of healing cream, it hardly hurts at all.
And so, in the end, I'm thankful for four friends tonight. One made the cut, and the other three loved me enough to tell me that the surgery, the fixing, was indeed necessary. Not a single one tried to take the scalpel from my hand, exclaim that the one who had made the incision must be insane, and convince me that nothing needed fixing. Each one loved me enough to tell me to grip the scalpel tighter, and not stop what had begun. And for that, I am extremely grateful.
No comments:
Post a Comment