My brother called me about a week ago, distraught. My brother is a strange sort of person, he really is. I love him, but there is no getting around that the boy is just... strange. Anyway, so he called me. This is what he said. "So, I know that you want to get married someday, right? But... well, you're single. And frankly, Kid (He and his wife have called me "kid" since I was 10. It will never go away. I've accepted it. I'm oddly fond of it.) you have been single for a really long time. Like, years, right? Anyway, so I was thinking. I know I'm a guy, and I'm sort of insanely jealous. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Luckily, {my wife} doesn't ever give me a reason to be. But I'm a good guy, you know? Good guys can be jealous too, and if someone like me was interested in someone like you that guy would never even approach you. Cause you're surrounded by dudes, all the time. You're always talking about this guy or that one, and I get that they're just your friends but... don't you think that's a little intimidating for a guy?"
Um... yes. I do. That's sort of the point. Nut up or shut up. If you won't approach me because I have good male friends, then it was never going to work in the first place because I will always have good male friends. I will respect my future guy, I will not put myself in compromising situations, I will not be closer to any man than him, but I'm me. And me gets along with guys better than girls. It's just part of who I am. And I need a guy that can handle that.
In the meantime, I'm surrounded by people, men, who love me for who I am, not for what they can get from me. They protect me, they teach me, they toughen me and soften me at the same time. They teach me to laugh louder and work harder. And they'd never let anyone who wasn't worth my time stay in my life. Well, most of them wouldn't. The OSM would just tell me 'that it's probably not a great idea but you've got to fall on your own ass to learn this lesson'. Unless, of course, some guy decided to hit me. And then the OSM would... well we wouldn't want incriminating evidence to be posted for the public to see, now would we?
Anyway, the point of all this is simple: I never set out to be an intimidating girl. I'd love to be approachable. But I'm not changing who I am to be that way. If anyone finds me intimidating, then I better find them courageous or we'll never meet. I will not give up my friends or change my personality so that I am less intimidating. I'll just have to work on attracting guys who are not easily intimidated.
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