Day Two Hundred and Five - Something's Gotta Give

I love that movie. The first time I watched it, I had no idea why I loved it. The second time, I started to understand. The third, fourth, and fifth times, I began to understand that I would appreciate this movie more and more the older I got. That has proved very true.

"Something's gotta give" has been going through my mind a lot today. I woke up early, and yet very late. I spent the first three hours of my day in the kitchen and grocery store. Dishes and laundry and house cleaning and cooking. I spent all day today getting caught up from last week and preparing for this one. Which is how I spend most of my days off. Most of my time off, to be frank. Dishes, cooking, laundry. Preparing for the next day.

Ever since I started working, my body aches all the time. My legs ache almost every day. My arms, my back. Sometimes my head because I don't get enough sleep. I'm always tired. I barely have any time for my friends. Something's gotta give.

And then I realized, something will give. Me. I have to give. I have to bend. I have to learn and be humbled. I have to work hard and squeeze a lot into a little time. Life will not give. Money will not rain from the skies. A good house doesn't keep itself. But my muscles will build and eventually cease to ache. At least as much as they do. My body is already getting used to an early to bed, early to rise schedule. Every night at 7pm my internal clock starts counting down an hour and a half until bedtime, and truth be told, I don't mind it much. Even my house... I do dishes every night so I can put new food into my glad ware, but my laundry has decreased to almost nothing. 3 loads for the whole week now. That's including towels and bedding. Sometimes we don't have time to do all the things we want because we have to spend our time with all the things we need. That's life.

And it needs to be embraced. When I spend my entire day off getting ready for the next week, it is not time wasted. I do it because of the peace I get for the rest of the week. It is such a relief to come home to good food, and clean sheets, and clothes already folded for the next day. It is a relief to wake up and have my lunch already packed and my coffee already brewing. I spend my days off making sure that the rest of my days are not filled with unnecessary worries and hurrying.

I can make peace with a life like this. Especially as in time, I'll get better at my time management. Work hard, think less, do more. Yes. The only thing that has to give is me. And I give willingly.