There is a man I hardly know, and yet respect. He is leaving a life that promises luxury for the life of a poor missionary. He leaves in a few months, not knowing when he will return. His soul motivation is for Christ and the gospel. This man, though I hardly know him, and never expect to know more, I know I will never forget.
And yet... I fear he goes unprepared. I'm an introvert by nature, an extreme one. I watch and listen very closely in new situations with new people. I watched and listened as a group of Christians prayed over him with the laying of hands. Their prayers were fervent and good, and yet my heart cried something entirely different from what they were speaking. They prayed that he have peace and joy, they prayed that he have wisdom and knowledge, they prayed that he would not speak but the Lord speak through him. They prayed he have humility and grace. They prayed for many good things, and yet... My heart's cry for him was different.
They neglected the Night. Some Christians don't believe in the Night, they believe that with prayer and preparation, the Night can be avoided. Some see it as a weakness. Others as a curse. Others as a myth of the weak, an excuse of the feeble minded. I do not. I have great respect for the Night. In all my readings, of all the great men of the Church, all have gone through a Night, a long Night, a lightless Night. Some have only ever lived in the Night with brief moments of day. The Night is very real, and it is the curse of the strong, not the weak. The Night steals your joy, and forces you to make the hard decisions when there is only your voice and the echo in your heart of the things you believe.
I do not know this man, and yet my prayer for him echoes in my heart day after day. I pray that in the Night, God be his light. I pray that in his discouragement, God be his hope. I pray that in his weakness, God be his strength. I pray that in his pain, God be his healing. I pray that in his apathy, God be his passion. I pray that in his confusion, God be his certainty. For what this man faces is unknown to us here in the lap of luxury. Don't get me wrong, I am poor. And yet I eat well each day, I have a comfortable, while small, apartment with air conditioning and a running car and a good job. What he faces is far darker. I pray he knows hunger, so that he may truly know what it is to be full. I pray he knows devastation, so that he may fully understand hope. I pray he knows torment, so that he may fully understand the peace that passes understanding. I pray the same for myself in my stronger moments. These things are necessary if he is to reach those he hopes to.
As Christians, we cannot neglect the Night of the soul, we cannot pretend it doesn't exist, we cannot pretend that with enough prayer and preparation it can be avoided. We can only pray to survive it. We can only pray to do His will through it. We can only pray for the Light to return. The Night will come. And when it does, we know who we truly are inside, and what we truly believe. There is no Christian social club in the night, encouraging you along the path. There is no happiness, there is not motivation beyond what your soul clings to.
I do not know him, and yet I pray he thrives in the Night. I pray he overcomes it. For when he does... he, and his message, will be unstoppable.
I love your heart!
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