Day Two Hundred and Forty Two - Filters

When you spend three days with three guys moving an entire trailer and two cars full of stuff, annoyance and frustration are pretty much guaranteed. I was actually shocked about how little there was this weekend. In general, everyone got along really well.

But there was one part of it that just drove me nuts. Don't get me wrong, the guy who annoyed the ever living patience out of me is actually a very nice guy. He's just going through some rough stuff. That being said, for the love of God, learn to keep it to yourself.

Look, I realize that guys are far more visual and far more sexual than women. Especially me. I'm not very visual at all, and less than ragingly sexual. Even so, I understand that when I hang out with guys there is going to be the occassional, "Wow, she's hot," or, "Did you see that ass?" or, "I want to do dirty, dirty things to that girl based solely on her physical appearance." However, if those things are the ONLY things that come out of your mouth, even the guys we're hanging out with will quickly lose their patience. To try and be less annoyed, I asked him to use the word 'smile' whenever he thought the word 'panties' or 'ass' and the word 'eyes' whenever he thought the word 'boobs'. At least while we were in public. I was so, so wrong. It was worse. I'm not sure how, or why, but it was so. much. worse.

However, the problem isn't that he doesn't have a filter. He's got the wrong filter. He is actually a fairly decent human being. He is actually looking for a sweet girl that won't break his heart and run around on him. But he has no game because he just eye rapes every girl in the bar, and then uses horrible, demeaning one liners on them. He'll never even get a first date if he doesn't STOP filtering the sweet into asshole. He's been hurt, but he'll be alone for ever if he refuses to put himself out there. If you want a sweet girl, show her your sweet side. The only girl he could get at this point is one that he paid, and even then, I'm fairly sure she'd demand a pay increase after the first half hour.

I guess my point is simply to stop filtering yourself into destruction. I know I do it, and I know we all do it. We all put up fronts that are tougher than we really are. None of us want to be hurt in the same way we were before. But we can't live behind walls, we can't let our filters be built by fear. Step out, be true to yourself. I'm not saying not to be careful or to devote yourself to the first person who comes along. But you'll never find who you're looking for by being the tough guy who has no heart. Just like you'll never get the job by telling the interviewer that you're actually a terrible employee.