A few days ago I spent some time at a dear friend's house. He makes wonderful music with a guitar and his voice and doesn't know a single Oasis song. I love it. But something happened there that was quite unexpected. His 'lady friend' (she doesn't get girlfriend as they're not official and he's moving so they won't be official) was there and I could not have cared less. The more the merrier. She seemed like a very chill girl and I've never had a problem with her. Until the territory war began.
*For guys who have no idea what I'm talking about, allow me to as briefly as I can, explain. When two or more girls feel territorial about the same guy, they have to hash it out, girl style. Which is something so nuanced I couldn't possibly hope to explain it in a paragraph, or even a hundred days full of the blog. It exists, and it is enough. The winner of such a hash out, however, is ironically, decided by neither girl, but by the guy they are fighting over. Whoever he shows the most attention and endearment to, wins.
The territory war began early in the night, and from the start, I conceded. I had nothing to prove. He was a friend of mine, that I love dearly, but had no reason to fight over. She, after all, had ever reason to win. But then, as the night wore on, even I could not be ignorant of the fact that despite her efforts, I was clearly winning. I was getting the deferential treatment. She was less than happy. I was over the moon. Oh heavens, was my ego unexpectedly boosted.
I rode that wave for a few days, just letting it feel good. Sure, part of me felt bad for winning a war I had waved a white flag to, for winning a war I had absolutely no right to win. It felt good none the less.
And then tonight, while hanging out with the same male friend, he was preoccupied with an out of town friend. So preoccupied, that I was pretty much ditched for an hour and a half. At first, my ego was wounded by it. But then I realized the compliment that it was. He is not motivated by attraction. He is motivated by affection. He gives preference to friends. He values people for who they are, not for what they can give him.
Being singled out, even for a night, to be the friend of preference was a greater compliment than being an object of attraction could ever be. I am humbled. I am grateful. I hope to one day be the person he sees in me. Because she must really be something special.
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