Three Hundred and Twenty Seven - Closure

My heart is grieved. A bridge to a heart so similar to my own is going up in flames. And there is nothing I can do to stop it. Well, nothing healthy. Desperate measures could be taken, but that would do nothing for either of us. And so, I grieve. I grieve for the parting of ways that I never wanted. I grieve for all that might have been. I grieve for the friendship I cherished for so long. 

But I let it go. Because to burn a bridge, or create a new life for herself, or just to say goodbye, is her right. And I have no right to infringe upon her freedom. It's her life. And I love her. And so I just watch as the bridge burns. There are no fireworks. No drama. Just a revoked invitation from her life. 

But as I watch the bridge burn... it sheds light on a nasty secret of my own. Mixed in with the grief is relief, the two are swirling around my heart in equal measure. I love her, and miss her. But I am relieved in knowing that the end... it wasn't all my fault. There have been multiple blogs that have mentioned my guilt complex. It gets cranked into high gear when friends of mine do hurtful things inexplicably. Had she only left me, I would have been dragged into confused guilt and nameless shame. But it's not just me. She's torching many a bridge. Whatever caused her to wipe the slate clean and start over had little to do with me, and much more to do with her. 

Which gives me the closure I needed to just grieve. To not be angry or hurt but just grieve. This closure came more quickly than I could have anticipated. And I'm thankful for it. Because it came on the heels of a much anticipated closure that took far too long to get here. I learned that another person I had once called friend had burned many a bridge as well, and not just mine. And the relief that brought was tangible. 

I could finally let it go knowing that whatever had happened wasn't my fault. It was simply their choice. And once I learn that, that I am not responsible for the actions of others... well then the things I carry... well let's just say they'll be a whole lot less.